Vogue

Last night I had a photoshoot with my brother.
He wore makeup and was quite cooperative.
We belonged on the cover of Vogue, I swear it.

I think Alyssa is sleeping with Twitch.
I will be so disappointed if this is true.
I wrote her a note, asking.

I talked to Justin today.
I think we're alright.
Collin, the freshman that has a crush on me, helped me with this.
I sort of owe him one.
Dominic talked to me.
I wonder if he thinks I forgot that he called me a fat dyke.

Bree looked at me when she told the teacher that she's afraid of fat people.
I am upset, but I'm trying not to let it get to me.
It has already a little, I didn't want to eat lunch or dinner, but I'm getting through it.
I'm managing.

Hypocrite.

I woke up really crabby.
I didn't take my anti-depressant until lunchtime.
I took two diet pills.
They didn't work today.

My mom says that Sam might come live with us for a while in May.
I think it sounds fun, but then I don't get why she has a problem with me staying with Michael for a while...
She's just kind of a hypocrite, I'm used to it.

Also, I'm thinking about retrying my vegetarian ways.
I miss the peace of it all.

Traffic

Rach finds it frightening that I don't wait for traffic to stop before I walk across the road.
That's the way I do it.
That's the way the Europeans do it, that's the way I want to be.

I want to go to an online school next year.
I haven't told my mother quite yet that I was serious.
I gently nudged the brochure at her, however.

It's hard to love everyone.
They've all got their own problems making them upset.
Alyssa...my dear Alyssa. She's causing so much drama inside my own head.
I'm going to explode if she asks "Are you mad?" One more time.

Interestingly, and predictably, enough, I plan on forgiving.
I'm going to talk to JZ soon. It's hard without him.
CC keeps asking me why I'm mad at him.
I kind of thought it was a no-brainer.

Anyways. Have a nice day.
PS - I gave my Anti-depressant away.
I wasn't expecting that I would need it, but I regret it.
I forgot that I was supposed to be mad at the person I gave it too.
Oops.

Tool

Yes, me.
People use my body how they wish.
People use my mind however they want.
Why do I let people touch me like that?
Why am I such a pushover?
I should fix that.
Her boyfriend had no right to come a'knocking on my window so early in the morning.
Or at all.
And then to lie about how he felt about me.
Wow, I let it get to me.

I've decided that I need to stop holding grudges.
I wonder if anything will change.