Relapse

I don't want to relapse. Into anything.
I want to be done using pills.
I want to never cut again.
I never want to throw up again.
I know I will throw up, and Cody will be so disappointed.
I couldn't handle the food today.
I can't.

I love him.
Don't be mistaken for IN love.
That would scare me.
But I do love him, he's perfect right now.